Raising school-aged grandkids: how to handle homework and school in a digital age

(Aging Untold) — For some older adults, this chapter of life was supposed to mean retirement. Instead, they are raising school-age kids again, navigating online portals, teacher apps and school meetings that look nothing like the school they remember.

The Aging Untold experts are sharing how older caregivers can manage the digital side of modern schooling — and why their experience still matters.

“You’re not probably the most confused”

When the day-to-day of supporting a child’s education starts to feel overwhelming, older adults should know they are not alone.

“I think it might be important to know that you may be the oldest member in the PTA, but you’re not probably the most confused,” gerontologist “Sam” Cradduck said. “There are many younger parents that are still trying to learn to navigate the online portals and the tablets that their kids have, not having textbooks.”

Cradduck pointed out that school itself has changed for everyone, not just older caregivers.

“School isn’t what it once was, and math doesn’t math anymore. There’s this new math thing,” Cradduck said. “There’s a lot of things that have changed. But for our older community that are managing and helping school-age children, there’s a lot of help for you.”

Cradduck said the most important step is figuring out what resources are available. (See below for resources.)

“I think that’s the most important thing to find out is what resources are available to you, and how can you tap into it and make sure that you find a tutor that can help with some of the things you’re not maybe the best at,” Cradduck said.

Leaning on what’s worked before

Aging well coach Katherine Ambrose said older adults should remember that they have been through this before.

“It might look different, but the younger parents — they haven’t helped kids go all the way through school,” Ambrose said.

Aging expert Amy O’Rourke encouraged older caregivers to draw on past experience and to ask for help.

“Think of all the difficult things you’ve been through, and look at what did you do then that made that successful,” O’Rourke said. “So one of them is asking for help. I love the library — the librarians will help with the Wi-Fi and the app and give you other resources.”

O’Rourke also pointed to school staff as a resource.

“If you go into the school counselors, the guidance counselors, the parent liaison people, just stop and then know your weak spot,” O’Rourke said.

Board-certified physician Dr. Rhea Rogers recommended that older adults also talk to the teachers so they understand the situation.

Consistency matters more than perfection

She noted the added weight older caregivers carry when they take on this role.

“Because as an older adult who thought they were going to retire, you’re doing two jobs,” Rogers said. “You’re still trying to navigate your own health, your own decisions and things that pertain to you. Then you’ve got to also look at this other person.”

Rogers said children don’t need a perfect caregiver — they need steadiness.

“Really, for a child, they just need consistency. You don’t have to be a perfect caregiver. They just need to know that they matter,” Rogers said.

Reframing the role as mentorship

Cradduck said older caregivers often have more time and presence to offer than younger, working parents.

“If you’re at that retirement age and you’ve retired, most of the moms and dads are both working, and you do have that better quality time to be able to sew into the children,” Cradduck said. “Mentorship is what we’re to do when we age.”

O’Rourke added that older caregivers don’t need new credentials to contribute.

“What do you need to learn? You’ve already learned. You’ve already gotten educated. So use that — use what you have,” O’Rourke said. “Think about the other parents being exposed to you, like your generation, and what you can give just by being there.”

Ambrose agreed that the impact goes beyond the day-to-day logistics.

“Just that love, consistency, willingness — and these kids will remember that. That’s quite a legacy,” she said. “Grandparents have a big impact on kids anyway.”

Ambrose closed with a reframe for caregivers who feel stretched thin.

“It might sometimes seem like an interruption, but it could be disguised as your greatest legacy,” Ambrose said.

Resources

• Librarians
• Teachers
• Tutors
• School counselors
• Parent liaisons

Key takeaways

• You’re not alone in feeling lost. Many younger parents are also struggling to navigate school portals, apps and tablets — it’s not just an older-generation problem.
• Find out what resources exist first. Libraries, tutors, school counselors and parent liaisons can help fill in the gaps older caregivers may feel around technology or coursework.
• Draw on what already worked. Past experience solving hard problems — including asking for help — is a skill older caregivers already have.
• Reframe the role as mentorship. Older caregivers often have more unhurried time than dual-working parents, and that presence is valuable on its own.
• This can be a legacy, not just a burden. What feels like an interruption to retirement may be remembered by kids as a defining relationship.