Grace for the Kids: The journey to become a foster parent

WRIGHTSVILLE BEACH, N.C. (WECT) - Boys and Girls Homes of North Carolina puts every person who wants to be a foster parent through what they call “the Journey Class,” teaching them how to best support children who may need their help the most.

At one class’s final session at Wrightsville Beach Baptist Church, future foster parents acted out scenarios, including having disagreements with their future foster children.

“No, you need to turn the TV off and go to bed on time tonight, you have school tomorrow,” Crystal Wooten said to co-teacher Machelle Beatty.

“But it’s Bugs Bunny!” Beatty said.

It’s just one of many exercises they do at Boys and Girls Homes of North Carolina’s “Journey Class.” It’s a requirement for future foster parents to take the class before they get placements.

“There’s a need for, I mean there’s a need across the board for everything, but especially in foster care,” Wooten said. She has been teaching these classes for six years.

Wooten says many future foster parents come into the class feeling nervous.

“Sometimes we’ll see families come in real skeptical, like ‘I think that I want to do this, I’m not sure, I’m a little bit nervous and everything.’ But I think by the time that a family that leaves out of here from classes [they] leave with a little bit more confidence,” Wooten said.

The classes are intensive. They are mostly in person and tend to last three hours each time. Parents attend twice a week for six weeks.

“It’s fun,” Wooten said. “It’s interactive. Some people are like, ‘Oh my gosh, six weeks and stuff.’ But it’s not horrible. I think it’s informational. It opens your eyes to a lot,” Wooten said.

The parents in this class are all here for different reasons.

“My wife and I always talked about it, and we really felt that we have a very stable household that can welcome a child. I’m a teacher, and then I just enjoy trying to help as many kids as possible,” one participant, Jeff Brothers, said.

“We just felt like we needed to help children, especially here in our own area,” another participant, Amber Vanover, said.

They all have the same goal in mind: helping a child who’s had to go through being separated from their birth family.

“We’re really hoping that we can make a difference in someone else’s life. If we can make one person’s life better, then maybe we can change the world in some capacity,” Brothers said.

Many of these parents hesitated at first about becoming a foster parent. For many, it means changing routines or carving out time from their full-time jobs and busy lives. But all of them decided it’s a sacrifice they’re willing to make.

The course instructors held a mock graduation to mark the end of the course. After 12 sessions, six future foster parents completed the entire curriculum, spanning from conflict resolution to identifying signs of trauma. But while the class is over, the most important journey is also just beginning. Soon, each household will have a new child.

Wooten said most parents still feel nervous even after completing the course, but she said they’ll be fine as long as they keep her number one piece of advice in mind:

“Be open-minded. Know that every child comes with their own background, some more trauma than others,” Wooten said.

More people still need to enroll in the Journey Class. With close to 10,000 foster children in the system in North Carolina, there are homes for only half of them. Wooten says taking the leap is as simple as raising your hand and asking a question.

“Take a chance. If you have questions, just call us. We’ll talk to you. We’ll answer all the questions that we could answer,” Wooten said.

There’s a spot on the Boys and Girls Homes website where people can ask questions about fostering.