WILMINGTON -- This is meant for just one person. And I'm not going to tell you who because he's been a friend for a long time. And he's not going to like it.
So listen friend, buddy, pal - I want you to know how excited I was the other day to see your name in my email "in-box." It had been a while since I last heard from you. So I was looking forward to getting an update on everything going on in your life.
On the other hand, it did occur to me the message could be bad news. What if something happened to your wife or what if you had lost your job? Before opening the email I knew I'd be there for you. That's what friendship is all about.
But you know what all my compassion and caring got me? It got me a lousy forwarded joke.
You probably think this is a great way to keep in touch. Well, I am not in the slightest way flattered that I am one of the dozens of people you have chosen to share your messages with.
We've known each for far too long to be anything less than honest. So you need to know I think this friendship can do without the forwarding of messages. Let's get back to exchanging real stuff about things that matter in our lives.